A “Noun” Style of Happiness

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“That’s it! I’m really leaving New York City this time. I can’t even deal!” My mom had grown accustomed to my powerless threats of leaving the Big Apple. She’s heard it all before so being the straight shooter that she is, my mom quickly cut my complaints short. “Ellisa, stop!” She exclaimed. “You do this all the time! You jump from one thing to the next, one place to the next and so on all to find your ‘happiness.’  If you left New York City now it would be barely a week before you start your complaint campaign of how you’re not satisfied with life. Ellisa, it doesn’t matter where you go or what you do – your happiness lies within. No one or no ‘thing’ should be able to take that away from you.”

I guess she told me, right? Although it’s hard to admit, no matter how old you are or where you are in life, parents always seem to dish out the most simplistic yet powerful wisdom.  After looking back on my trail of actions I found a recurring pattern – a “noun” style of happiness.

Instead of having happiness instilled within, I’ve been looking for it in every person, place, or thing that surrounds me…

When life doesn’t go my way immediately I exit stage left in search of the next opportunity to fill that void. All that I end up with is a temporary solution to a permanent problem.

Yes, we run into less than perfect situations that shatter our fragile states of happiness but joy – pure joy – shouldn’t be thrown in and out of style like last season’s “it” bag. It’s a constant peace of mind that serves as the foundation for how you approach life. Even when it seems your world is crumbling, you should still be able to find that spot inside of you where peace resides.

Happiness is not an accessory or detachable part of your existence. It’s a part of YOU.

Miracles & Blessings,


Ellisa Oyewo

As a New York City storyteller, filmmaker, digital content creator, and PR strategist, Renae Bluitt created "In Her Shoes" to empower and enlighten women committed to realizing their dreams.


  1. LaShaune

    May 27, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    Sound advice from your mom. I wish she would have said that to me before I moved from NYC, but hindsight is 20/20 and I if I had stayed, I wouldn’t be where I am now (finally a college grad, working toward a 2nd degree, and recently relocated to Sacramento). This last part isn’t so glamorous, but it’s only been 3 months. I have to give this town time to get to know ME!

    And another good mantra to keep with you: No one completes you. You are the whole! Others can only compliment.

  2. najwa

    June 8, 2011 at 2:36 am

    Oh man! I thought you loved the city–where are you going? I’ll be back soon, don;t go anywhere….lol you just need a breather
    love you all the time!

  3. Tierra

    June 26, 2011 at 1:49 am

    This is so true and I’m at that stage where I am checking myself! To assure that my happiness are not instilled in other people or materialistic things but rather in myself!

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