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Attention Craver

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Yanking and pulling. Huffing and puffing. Bored glances. Uncomfortable stances. These were the actions of some of the young ladies who came out with us to the club that night. Halfway through the evening I realized the group of ladies I had gone out with were clearly divided. Half of us were hysterically laughing, joking, dancing, and just enjoying each other’s company while the other half seem bored, irritated, and uncomfortable. I truly had an amazing evening thanks to the great company I kept and the good music the DJ rocked all night. Noticing that some of us didn’t have the same experience, I asked a rep from the bored side what was wrong.

Seemingly glad that I asked, she went into intense detail about how she wasn’t approached by any attractive guys and how the evening was pointless. Catching myself mid eye roll following a “who cares?” response, I quickly decided to just be silent and let her rant.

I realized that night that some women go out and get dolled up not for themselves, but solely to catch a man’s eye. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great if that fly, intelligent brotha’ with a beautiful smile approaches you but don’t lose your mind if it doesn’t happen. Later that night I gave my friend the basic advice of just “doing her”  the next time she steps on the scene. It’s not healthy to base your level of fun or enjoyment on finding Mr. Right every single time you step out the door.

Life is stressful enough without us setting up unrealistic expectations. We shouldn’t let the time where we can let loose and have fun feel like a chore. Male or female, people are attracted to genuine people who radiate positive energy and are comfortable in their own skin. Ladies, have the mindset that you bring the fun when walk outside your door. You don’t have to have “Mr. Fly Guy” or anyone else’s contributions for your own happiness!

Miracles & Blessings,

Ellisa Oyewo

As a New York City storyteller, filmmaker, digital content creator, and PR strategist, Renae Bluitt created "In Her Shoes" to empower and enlighten women committed to realizing their dreams.

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