The Waiting Game

By In Her Shoes Guest Blogger: Katrina Craigwell

I recently re-entered the dating world and quickly found myself face to face with my favorite activity, The Waiting Game. We’ve all been there. Anxiously, awkwardly, endlessly sitting by the phone (or within earshot if we don’t want to sound desperate) waiting for that new guy to call. It’s amazing how much energy we pour into this and how consuming planning our next conversation can be.

But let’s face it, if he likes you he’ll call, and if he’s not that into you then onto the next! So here are a few things you can do to shift your focus and spend your energy on the important parts of life. You’ll often find that a good distraction is the best medicine.

1. Call three close friends who you’ve been out of touch with. Good friends greatly improve our quality of life and remind us who we truly are. Sometimes waiting for a phone call can lead to self-doubt. We start asking whether we were pretty enough, cute enough, smart enough… A good BFF is like a reset button. They know us and love us for it and a strong friendship is the foundation of any lasting relationship.

2. Read a book. Sound a little too simple? Well sometimes keeping it simple is the best policy. For some, we’ve been meaning to catch up on our reading, for others we know that mental stimulation is a great exercise and distraction. And it’ll give you something new to talk about! A few of my favorites: The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, The Savage Detectives and, if you’re up for it, The Satanic Verses.

3. Update your resume. A little house cleaning always helps. So pick a few small tasks to take care of with your extra energy. As young professionals we should always have a current resume on hand and an updated, active LinkedIn profile. As one great In Her Shoes commenter said, don’t sleep on this! Your next career opportunity may be just around the corner.

4. Take your mom to dinner. Yes, the woman who questions you incessantly, criticizes your every move and has loved you to death since the day you were born. She deserves some pampering, so don’t let her forget how much you care. And if it’s not your mom, then maybe it’s an aunt or grandparent. Family first! Whether or not he calls you, the fam is always a few digits away.

5. Write. Self-expression is a powerful tool. While you’re catching up with loved ones and enjoying some literature or art, it’s just as important to let it all out. Now I’ll be honest. As I write this post, I may or may not have my phone within earshot (smile) but I channeled my energy and was able to share some thoughts with you. A much more positive outcome than staring at the ceiling all night! So be creative and have fun. Write, sing, dance… However you express yourself, take some time to share your story.

There you have it! Next time you find yourself deep in The Waiting Game, make a fun list of things to do. Remember that family, friends, culture and expression come first and are deeply enriching. Then pick something and dive in. The phone will ring in no time, or you may just find the perfect guy while you’re out at the museum!