Don’t Be Attached to the Outcome

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By In Her Shoes Contributor: Ellisa Oyewo

“Well, if I mention what I think it might ruin everything. Which means maybe I should just keep my thoughts to myself or maybe I should speak up? Ahhhh, I don’t know…”  I  said while venting to my extremely calm friend. As I continued to play the game of  “well if I say or do this, then this will happen” she abruptly stopped me before I even continued. The soon-to-be yoga instructor  looked up at me and slowly stated,  “Don’t be attached to the outcome.”  Almost choking on my tea and slightly baffled on how powerful this six word statement was, I collected my thoughts and replied “Wow, you’re ab-so-lute-ly right.”  As I let the thought linger, I thought of how effective and important it is to not be always concerned with the outcome behind every action.

Be Present: In life we let beautiful moments pass without noticing them or actually being present. When choosing our path of life it’s vital to enjoy the fullness of every single moment. Living continuously in the future and trying to predict the details of what is to come is  a guessing game we will never win. The fun twist about life is that we can never plan exactly how the chips may fall so you can only follow your heart and intuition which is your the best guide to living a fulfilled life. Honoring and focusing on the moment at hand is a gift we have to unwrap to enjoy life!

Let Go & Live: “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?“ We have all seen or heard this question atleast once and the answer is simple. Just live! When we calculate every action, we sometimes stunt our own growth. Make a decision and go for it. We often like to to straddle the fence of life because it’s a safe comfort zone.  It’s great to be knowledgeable about your decisions of life but every choice is not a science which means it’s not always going to be a right or wrong. It’s time for you to confidently jump off that proverbial fence and begin exploring what life has to offer.

The Perfect Outcome: We spend countless hours in our lives trying to ignore or mask emotions we feel. It’s almost as if we feel a guilt or shame because we are not happy every minute of the day.  Every decision you make is not going to have you walk away with a glowing smile on your face but there was a lesson somewhere in that experience you need this. If we accept the fact that everything is not necessarily going to be easy but is needed for personal growth, it will allow us not to be so concerned of having the perfect outcome.

If we’re consistently holding on to fear of the outcome we are becoming are own barrier to success and happiness. After writing your list of pros and cons, sometimes the best answer is just to let go of the outcome and truly face your fears!

As a New York City beauty PR strategist, Renae Bluitt created "In Her Shoes" to empower and enlighten women committed to realizing their dreams.


  1. Brandi

    May 20, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    I’m a funeral director and I tell you with all that I see every day I still have to remind myself sometimes that each day is a blessing, and enjoy it.

  2. Joyce

    May 27, 2012 at 1:03 am

    When I’m running full steam ahead, I’m going to sit back and remember this post. At the end of the day, most things are not really that serious. God, Health, Safety, Family, Friends Finances – I worry in that order. If it’s not on that list, I don’t stress about it or at least try not to.

  3. Iku Eno

    May 30, 2012 at 4:54 pm


    What salient thoughts. Even more so because I just listened to a lecture on this from a very wise Buddhist monk last evening! How about that?

    I have had a hard time learning this lesson and now I am beginning to see the fruits of deep thought, being quiet, and being still. The stillness and the patience has been a challenge to build but the most beneficial.

    I am learning that one does not have to have a rear view to the past to “learn from it” nor do we have to vehemently stick to plans for the future. Life is in the in between. Hmmmm…freedom!

    btw…I watch these great lectures on you tube by the “buddhist society wa”. If anyone is interested, just type that in you tube “search”.

    Thank You!

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